The fact that Canada is cold is a well-known fact. But non-Canadians don’t truly understand how cold it really is. Until you’ve stepped outside in February and your breath is not only visible but turning into a solid, you just don’t understand.

The remarkable thing about Canadians is that it’s never too cold to do anything. In the coldest, darkest, nuclear winter-like days you’ll find Canadians outside skating, playing hockey and chasing beavers. Maybe the free health care gives Canadians the confidence to head outside in conditions that cause even thermometers to freeze. Maybe it’s the stronger Canadian beer. Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen in the Canadian Rockies. Whatever it is, Canadians are not afraid of the cold. They are, however, afraid of bears. I’ve made that mistake before and it didn’t end well.

Since Canadians are so used to frigid temperatures, what’s considered “cold” in the rest of the world is considered “mild” in Canada. (Note, what’s considered “mild” in the rest of the world is considered “hot” in Canada. The rest of the world’s “hot” is non-existent in Canada and is instead replaced by more cold.) It’s common to hear a Canadian refer to a late December day as “nice outside” and a January snow storm as “not bad today.”

Also, Canadian temperature is measured in Celsius, which makes temperatures appear even colder to those in the United States. Many are convinced that this is a Canadian trick, used to fool Americans into thinking that Canadians are much more adapted to cold than they actually are. As we’ve stated before, Canadians are a very tricky people.

One of the best ways to spot a Canadian is to throw them outside in relatively cold weather. If they complain about the cold they are not really Canadian. If they immediately start making snow angels and organizing shinny games, they are truly Canadian. If they suffer frostbite and need medical attention, it may actually be too cold outside and you should probably give them their clothes back. Then take them to a hospital. If they’re Canadian the health coverage will be free (this is another great way to identify a Canadian which we will cover later.)